


Here's Lookin At You, Kid

by orphan_account



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Classified - Freeform, F/F, Lab Accidents, slow-burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 02:55:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7995967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An accident in Holtzmann's lab leaves the Ghostbusters with a pretty big problem and very limited time to fix it. Holtzbert slow-burn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Swear She Only Looks 32

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HoltzmannRadioTimes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoltzmannRadioTimes/gifts).



> Based on a prompt given to me by @funkelly on tumblr. I have had SO much fun writing this story and I truly hope that all of you will enjoy reading the adventure that she helped me take these two on!
> 
>  
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING

“ _And in other news… we still have no idea_ what _to think about the mysterious happenings in New York City that all began last month with the pre-apocalyptic event that the Mayor still deems a ‘hallucination’ despite multiple sightings in the City though that have yet to be explained… The team that we have come to know as the “Ghostbusters,” the Mayor’s PR stands by their original statements as merely fra-_ ” the giant flat screen on the first floor of the Firehouse AKA the newly minted Ghostbusters Headquarters shut off with a flip.

 

“Hey-!” Erin protested, head snapping up from the TV across her and Abby’s joint work desks.

 

“Hey nothing! You have been skimming channels all day listening to that horse manure when we have a book to be editing!” Abby scolded, remote in hand, one hand on her hip.

 

“If you’re done with the TV, can I watch it?” Kevin piped up from his desk near the front of the floor, fumbling with a ball made of rubber bands.

 

“We need you to concentrate on answering the phones, Kevin,” Abby delivered gently, shaking her head and Kevin pouted, going back to his mundane task of flinging rubber bands at the Firehouse door.

 

“Abby’s right, Erin,” Patty chimed in from the corner where she was perusing her brand new “library” that the Mayor - like the Firehouse - had fully funded for them to be able to research different plots about ghosts around New York City and had become Patty's personal library of encyclopedias and historic novels and more, a sign hung above the area that read _HOLTZ-FREE ZONE_ in bright red letters, Patty was quite adamant about keeping the mad scientist who had a penchant for making things explode, away from her precious tomes. “You ain’t gonna get any work done watching them try to deem us a bunch of frauds, I thought you were over that, I mean – we got the Firehouse! The Mayor is just trying to stop people from causing a ‘ _mass hysteria_ ’,” she made a 'spooky' face, pulling jazz hands that made Erin’s lips quirk slightly.

 

“I just – I really can't stand hearing people still think we're frauds, especially after everything that _just_ happened,” Erin shook her head, looking down at the manuscripts she’d been editing before. She'd tried in vain to get through the editing phase of her and Abby's reboot of  _Ghosts From Our Pasts: Both Figuratively & Literally. The study of the paranormal_ but had barely made a dent in the month since moving into the Firehouse.

 

“Then don’t _listen_ to it! Problem solved. Now, who wants Chinese, because I’m cravin’ me some wonton soup!” Abby grinned and Erin shook her head.

 

“More like you’re cravin some Benny-The Delivery Boy,” Patty didn’t even try to keep her voice low as she and Erin shared a laugh at their friend’s expense. To be fair, Abby was a genius when it came to most things, but men was not one of them.

 

Benny, poor sweet naïve Benny as Holtzmann liked to call him(and Kevin, too) had been trying for weeks, to gain Abby’s attention but since the Ghostbusters saved the City Abby had been swamped in her research on the paranormal and had not picked up that he was even flirting with her, despite how he’d been even more brazen about it than usual: writing his number on all of their delivery orders, in hopes that Abby would see, to actually running around in the background on the nightly news that Erin watched moreso than Abby, with a giant sign that read “I <3 DR. YATES” and "ABBY, PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!"

 

Abby seemed to pay the quip no mind however as she pulled out her cell and hit the speed dial for her favorite restaurant.

 

“Someone better go and ask Holtzy if she wants something to eat before Abby finishes the order up, last time Abby about lost it when she caught Holtzmann eating her fried rice,” Patty peered over to Erin who pretended at first, not to notice that Patty had been extremely observant not only in Abby’s love life, but in Erin’s as well.

 

It had become painstakingly clear after the incident with Rowan that Kevin just did not do it for Erin anymore, despite that he was indeed nice to look at, his lack of intelligence just could not suffice for Erin’s wants and so she moved on and found her attention drifting towards her work, especially when that work came to involve another team member... a team member with more brain cells... a team member who also had blonde hair and glasses (not that Erin had a type whatsoever!) and so of course, Patty was the first to realize, even before Erin had, that the physicist had a minor crush on their whacky munitions expert.

 

Because that’s all it was. A _crush_.

 

“I guess I’ll go,” Erin sighed, pretending that she wasn’t slightly eager to go upstairs to the second floor of the Firehouse that the blonde had claimed before they could even move in. Patty just nodded and Abby continued to talk to Benny on the phone-

 

_“Benny, I appreciate your concern for my health, but I really just want some wontons – what? What would my plans for Friday night have anything to do my order?”_

 

Erin shook her head with a smile and began to ascend the stairs toward the lab.

 

Holtzmann was as usual, perched behind her workbench, her face hidden by a welding mask, blowtorch in one hand, a machine on the bench before her steadied in another. Erin had learned the hard way to never try to spook the engineer when working around hazardous materials, which _technically_ everything in this lab was a hazard.

 

So Erin approached slowly, hoping that the engineer would hear the click of her heels over the sound of her torch and the 80’s music that drifted throughout the lab from the surround-sound speakers that Holtzmann had installed.

 

“Holtz!” Erin called when she was closer to the table, the blowtorch still going, the mask looked up and Erin could practically feel the engineer’s smile behind the mask as she set down the tool and switched it off, flipping up her mask. Blue eyes shone from behind her favorite yellow glasses.

 

“In all of the gin joints, in all of the world, she comes walking into mine…” Holtzmann smirked, Erin blushed.

 

“I love that movie,” Erin smiled. Holtzmann’s grin widened.

 

“Of course you would! So Ms. Gilbert, to what do I owe the honor of your presence on this fine August morning?”

 

“It’s September and it’s three in the afternoon, Holtz,” Erin corrected and Holtz rolled her eyes with a wave, pulling her welding helmet completely off, leaving her tuft of blonde curls completely askew.

 

 _Adorable…_ Erin shook her head, fighting off the fond smile she felt tug at her lips.

 

“Abby was just ordering lunch – Chinese… did you want anything?” Holtz turned back toward Erin after reaching behind her to grab another tool from her organized chaos of a workbench.

 

“Sure thing, hot stuff, how’s about hot and sour soup and some of those fried cookies?”

 

“Fried - you mean the _fortune_ cookies?” Erin asked, flatly. Holtzmann smiled.

 

“Yes! All of the cookies!” Erin shook her head at her friend’s odd eccentricities.

 

“That’s not an actual _meal_ , Holtzmann,” Erin argued but Holtz put her helmet back on.

 

“Fine, then the soup and you can choose something for me – but no broccoli!” Holtz winked salaciously before shutting the welding mask again. Erin shook her head and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, refusing to let her smile show until she had her back turned.

 

As she made her way down the stairs, it happened:

 

The entire building seemed to rock with the force of an earthquake. Erin yelped and grasped for the railing, narrowly avoiding being thrown down the remainder of the stairs. As fast as it had come, it had gone, much like a power surge and Erin's eyes widened as a quiet settled over the entire Firehouse.

 

“Holy shit!” Abby sounded like she had fallen, voice strained.

 

 “Yo, what the Hell?” Patty called out right after. “What _was_ that?!”

 

Erin felt a hand, made of ice had reached around and grasped her stomach and held it tight as one thought came to mind: _Holtzmann!_

 

Abby and Patty were right behind her in no time as Erin leapt into action, whirling around on her heel and taking the stairs two at a time, back up to the lab.

 

“ _Holtzmann_!” Erin shouted, her voice coming out a lot steadier than her legs that shook with effort and fear. Nothing seemed out of place in the lab, but where Holtzmann once stood behind a machine that was making no noises or operating whatsoever, she was no more. Glancing around frantic, Abby spotted her first, lying – more like _crumpled_ down just below her work bench, unconscious, welding mask having fallen off of her head and resting a few feet away, glasses askew on her face. She was unconscious.

 

“Patty! Call an ambulance!” Abby shouted, but Patty was already on the phone as Erin raced to the blonde and checked for any visible signs of injury, her hands shaking violently as she tried to recall her first-aid class from years ago.

 

She swept her hands under Holtz’ body to make sure there she didn't miss anything, relieved slightly to only find a small knot on the back of her head, possibly from the fall, but otherwise she was all right, except – y’know _unconscious_.

 

“Holtzmann – wake up, please… open your eyes, Jill-” Erin felt tears sting at the back of her own eyes as she gently pulled the younger woman’s head into her lap, cradling her as Abby scanned her as well. Patty's voice on the phone with the medic trying to describe what had happened surrounded the otherwise eerily silent lab.

 

“What on Earth was that?” Abby asked, rhetorical. Erin shook her head, trying desperately not to cry as time passed and Holtz still wouldn’t open her eyes. She was breathing, and the steady beat of her pulse behind her fingers on Holtzmann's wrist made her panic lessen but did nothing to quell the fear that something could still be seriously wrong with their teammate.

 

“They’ll be here in three minutes,” Patty’s voice came through the noise that had generated in Erin’s head as she tried to stop all of the worst case scenarios that had begun playing out in her head.

 

 _She’s breathing… she’s alive… she’s unconscious… she might die – No, Erin, stop that… she’s gonna be fine_ …

 

She noticed Abby pull down some blueprints from above her head and glance at them.

 

“Shit, I don’t understand any of this, do you?” Abby pointed out at the blueprints for the machine – it looked scarily similar to that of the one they’d stopped at the Mercado that Rowan had built over a month ago…

 

“That looks like the machine Rowan used to bring the ghosts back!” Patty voiced Erin's fear. Abby's eyebrows hit her hairline.

 

"What on Earth? What was she doing building _this_?"

 

“I don’t know about you crazy scientists but I say let sleeping dogs lie,” Patty shook her head, she heard the front door come open and so she left the others behind and yelled for Kevin to direct the EMT’s up to the second floor.

 

Abby met Erin’s eyes.

 

“Do you think she’s -?” Erin asked, hoping her voice didn’t sound as shaky as she felt.

 

“She’s gonna be fine,” Abby said, but Erin wasn’t so sure. The EMT’s took Holtz' vital signs and slid her onto their stretcher, immediately calling it in and Erin followed Abby and the medics, pausing only once at the top of the stairs to look back at the machine that was sitting quietly on Holtz’ worktable.

 

 _What did you do, Holtz?_ Erin shook her head, resolving to find out later, once they managed to get Holtzmann conscious again.

-GB-


	2. 9-1-1 Who You Gonna Call?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Abby is a tiny ball of rage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are wonderful! I love how I've already gotten so many Kudos and comments! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

“What do you mean _you’re not sure_ _when she’ll wake up_?!” Abby screeched at the doctor as Erin and Patty tried to calm their friend down. Holtzmann was currently resting after hours of being looked over, prodded and monitored by some of the best neurologists in New York (yay, federal insurance!), but they were unable to give the team any solace with their inconclusive answers.

 

“Just what I said ma’am – I’m afraid without truly understanding what this _machine_ did when it went off like your friend described – it’s just impossible to really determine to what extent her injuries could be at…” the doctor explained, timidly as Abby’s fists tightened with each word. “As of right now she’s stable and we’ve got her hooked up with all the nutrients she needs, but there are no vital signs of any injuries that we can find. We’re simply going to have to rely on time here and wait for her to wake up.”

 

“Man, how is it there ain’t nothing you can do? Our friend is _unconscious!_ There is something _obviously_ wrong with her!” Patty argued and the doctor continued to explain about how the human brain was a complex organ that even the most brilliant scientists haven’t truly been able to master, but Erin didn’t hear him.

 

She couldn’t find the words, looking over the doctors’ shoulder into the single room where Holtzmann lay still, hooked up to several machines, an air tube hooked around her nose just in case to help her continue getting proper oxygen even though her lung function was completely normal.

 

Hair undone in an uncharacteristic display of loose curls that fell just to her shoulders, Erin had never seen it down before, even after living with the eccentric blonde for a little over a month, the woman was adamant about keeping her hair pinned up ( _for safety reasons, Gilbert_ , she’d always say).

 

She looked peaceful, like she was just sleeping, chest rising and falling slowly, heart monitor beeping above her head at a steady rhythm, Erin found it hard to believe that the blonde really could have anything wrong with her when she just looked so… _serene_.

 

“Erin, I’m gonna head back to the Firehouse and try to get an idea of what Holtz was up to, you coming or you staying?” Abby asked. Erin blinked.

 

“Pardon?” she shook her head and turned her attention to her childhood comrade who looked exasperated with the results from the hospital staff.

 

“I said ‘do you want to come back to the Firehouse with me? Or stay here?’”

 

Erin noticed her two friends lingering for her response, Abby looked tired and Patty just looked frightened.

 

“I’ll stay with her,” they nodded collectively. “I’ll call you if anything changes.”

 

“All right, well I’ll be back in the morning to switch off if nothing happens, you need to get some rest, too, Gilbert,” Patty chimed. “Want me to bring you anything from home?”

 

Erin shook her head, grateful for the other two. Since the four of them lived together in the Firehouse now, she knew that she could easily ask for some comfier clothes, but she knew it was unlikely she’d be getting any rest tonight anyhow.

 

“See you tomorrow, Erin, you better call us if anything changes, I don’t care what time-”

 

“Go, it’ll be fine, and I’ll call!” Erin assured, but it was weak and Abby moved in and gave her a bone-crushing hug similar to the one they’d shared after having survived the Rowan incident. Erin felt the tears come back but she sniffed and forced them down as she bid her friends goodbye and headed into the quiet room to settle in with Holtzmann for the evening.

 

“In all of the gin joints…” Erin had sat down in the chair on Holtzmann’s left before speaking and her voice felt lodged with a lump stuck in her throat. “Holtzmann, I don’t know what you’ve done, but please – _please_ come back to us, it’s too _quiet_ without you here.”

 

Erin leaned forward, reaching for Holtzmann’s hand that wasn’t currently hooked to the IV and began letting the tears fall, her heart breaking with each one that hit the hospital blankets.

* * *

When dawn broke, Erin’s eyes cracked open, literally _cracked_ as they were sealed shut with dried tears and morning goop that just made her feel even worse as she had spent the night hunched over on Holtzmann’s bed – _Holtzmann_.

 

She sat up, noticing a new blanket fell off of her shoulders, the nurses must have just left her as she was, remembering faintly waking up during one of the rounds around four AM, checking on the blonde, feeling her shoulders drop with the lack of change. Holtzmann was still unconscious, nothing out of the usual seemed to alert her otherwise.

 

“Good morning, ma’am, we are about to bring in breakfast for the residents on the ward – since your friend is not able, however, would you like something to eat? My charge before me said you had a rough night,” a kind orderly stopped in with a smile.

 

Erin felt literally useless as her stare never wavered from Holtzmann’s still form, she must have nodded though because the orderly walked out of the room and left her to her thoughts.

 

“Holtzmann…” Erin sighed. She reached over and laced her fingers with Holtzmann’s once more. It didn’t surprise her that the woman had obvious callouses around her fingers and the pads of her palm, but what did surprise her was just how youthful she still appeared to be, despite their jobs and the stress levels. She knew that Holtzmann probably had the most stressful job of all, working with radioactive material that could (literally) level the entire city on a daily basis if she weren’t careful.

 

So why on Earth would Holtzmann take such risks with her own safety?

 

“Any changes?” Patty’s voice cut through Erin’s musing and the physicist jumped a little out of her own skin, dropping Holtzmann’s hand like a hot potato.

 

“Patty! Wh-what’re you-?”

 

“Told you I’d be back in the morning; glad I am too, because you look like Hell-” Erin’s cheeks flamed. “Seeing as how nothing changed, you probably spent the entire damn evening worrying like a gir-” Patty stopped herself and shook her head.

 

“Anyway, Abby won’t put down Holtz’ work, she’s been at it all night trying to figure it out and I figured you’d have better luck making her get some sleep while I take over for a little while.”

 

Erin stretched her back out, feeling a ‘pop’ in her spine that helped relieve the pressure she felt in her lower back from sleeping at such a horrid angle the previous night and nodded, rolling her stiff shoulders.

 

“I’d hate to not be here if she wakes-”

 

“You mean _when_ … Holtzy is gonna wake up, baby, you gotta believe that,” Patty said in a much gentler voice than Erin was used to hearing from the historian as a hand came down on her shoulder.

 

“For now just go home, get some sleep – and for God’s sake, please get Abby to rest a little too before she blows a gasket. I’ll call you both if anything happens, ok?” Erin finally relented, just as the orderly came in and handed her a tray of hospital food. Patty’s arm forced her to sit back down as she tried to get up though.

 

“Actually, you best eat that first, _then_ you can go because I know you probably won’t eat otherwise,” Patty acknowledged the orderly with a smile.

 

“I’m not that hungry-” Patty however wouldn’t budge so Erin turned back toward the tray and took a bite, then another, suddenly ravenous despite that hospital food was barely sub-par, she managed to finish the entire tray of sausage and oatmeal with dried fruit and took her orange juice box with her as she headed out.

 

“You’ll call-?”

 

“Yes, now beat it!” Patty half-joked, shooing her out of the room as she turned on the hospital TV and began speaking to Holtzmann as though she was already awake. “Alright baby, it’s time to introduce you to my guilty pleasure – The History Channel!”

 

Erin shook her head with a smile and headed out into the early morning air of New York. It was a whole lot less clean than the sterile air of the hospital that she’d been breathing in all night, but it felt a lot better in her body as she walked a block over to a café and ordered a bagel and coffee before hailing a cab to take her back to the Firehouse, struggling to keep her eyes open as the cabbie’s sports radio started to lull her to sleep.

 

No sooner did she reach Headquarters that a call came in and Abby, who looked every bit as exhausted as Erin – perhaps more since Erin technically _did_ sleep – shuffled down the fire pole and grabbed their gear.

 

“I really hope that this ghost isn’t difficult, because I might seriously drag it back to Hell myself if it gives us too much trouble,” Erin suited up with the ruffled scientist and they headed out in the ECTO-1, fighting morning traffic all the way to Queens where a Class 3 was haunting a children’s playground.

 

It was an easy bust but Erin still got slimed.

 

The day passed by quickly after that and Erin was finally able to get Abby to lay down for a few, giving Kev the rest of the day off and unplugging the phones. The scientists both took a giant catnap, Erin kept her cell close to her pillow though, just in case.

 

But it was with a heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach when she woke up several hours later to Abby rummaging in the kitchen and no missed calls or texts from Patty. She exited her room donning her comfy sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt, Abby was making herself a sandwich in the joint kitchenette that the central area of the third floor had become.

 

“I’m about to go take over Patty’s shift at the hospital, you gonna be good here on your own?” Abby asked, noticing Erin.

 

“I suppose, I’ll just go and take over the research on that machine while you’re gone,” Abby nodded, taking a bite of her sandwich.

 

“Good luck – I haven’t managed to decipher much… Holtz’ handwriting is horrible! But the formulas basically point out that she was trying to close the portal that Rowan opened and that’s why we’ve still had a bunch of bad ghosts popping up all over the city,” Abby spoke around a mouthful of ham and mustard.

 

Erin’s eyebrows furrowed.

 

“So if she closes the portal, then no more ghosts?” Abby shook her head.

 

“No, there’s still ways for them to come through, but the sheer fact that the portal is open is a big issue: Apparently Rowan’s little army that he brought back had just been a taste of what he’d had in store for us… Research of demons and demi-Gods and we don’t need that sort of stuff around New York City…” Erin nodded.

 

“So basically just closing the portal is what we need to look at doing – got it, and also figure out what it did to Holtz-” Abby nodded this time before her phone rang.

 

“My Uber’s here, I’ll see you tomorrow!” she waved back at Erin who leaned against the counter, still exhausted despite having gotten plenty of rest. She looked into the fridge and managed to find a leftover piece of lasagna that Patty had made, she reheated it and ate before she made her way upstairs into Holtz’ lab, ready to work.

* * *

After Patty returned home, she got a quick shower while Erin scrounged up some leftover take out and reheated it for her and she brought the blueprints to the table while Patty sat down to eat.

 

“So nothing new?” Erin finally asked. Patty sighed into her beef lo-Mein.

 

“Afraid not, the doctors came in and I’d hoped one of them would be smart enough to tell me something new, but she’s still just lying there like she’s taking a long ass nap. Don’t get mad, but I even pinched her a few times to see if that would cause any reaction-”

 

Erin opened her mouth to argue but decided it best not to, Patty was only trying to help, despite that Erin knew from her own background in school that coma patients didn’t really react to stimuli like pinches or forms of endearment like they showed in the movies, Erin had briefly considered the miracle of a Prince kissing Holtzmann awake… a redheaded _female_ Prince that is – Erin shook her thoughts away.

 

“I guess we’ll just have to-” the silence was broken by the sound of a phone, _Erin’s_ to be exact. The ringing continued from her room and both women glanced up at one another, then took off at a sprint for her cell.

 

The call dropped however before Erin could reach it.

 

“ _Shit_ ,” Erin swore.

 

“Was that -?” Patty began but both women didn’t have to wait to find out as another call immediately came through on Erin’s phone, Abby’s smiling face lighting up the call screen.

 

“Abby!” Erin answered before the first ring completed, forcing her hands to stop shaking. “Any news?” she put it on speakerphone so Patty could hear the conversation as well.

 

“ _Erin, I need you and Patty to get down here… Holtz – well, she’s awake but…_ ” Erin’s eyes widened.

 

“But what, Abby?” Patty asked. _Please don’t be bad news… Please…_

 

“ _Just get down here, ok? Holtz, no don’t-!_ ” the line went dead.

 

Erin felt the lump in her throat return, her heart hammered against her ribs, painfully so. She blinked as Patty’s hand rested on her shoulder.

 

“C’mon Erin, let’s get down there before we freak out… ok?” Erin nodded and they hurried down to the garage and headed out, alarms on and lights flashing on the top of the ECTO-1 as they sped through downtown New York City toward the hospital where their friend was.

 

 _Whatever is going on Holtz, please just be okay…_ Erin sent up a silent prayer to whatever higher deity would listen.

 

-GB-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, I am on a roll here, please be kind an leave me a review and let me know what you're looking forward to next!!!! :3


	3. 29 In The Middle Of The Night.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Holtzmann is a Time Lord.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are really freaking great. So here's another chapter to make you all as happy as you've made me :3

Erin and Patty rushed through the doors to the hospital, taking off through the halls toward the ICU where Holtz had last been.

 

Abby was outside of Holtz’ room, door closed and yelling, red-faced at Holtzmann’s neurologist who was shaking behind his clipboard at the tiny ball of rage that was Abby L. Yates.

 

“Abby!” Erin gasped. “What… happened?” she attempted to calm her breathing while Patty took hold of Abby’s arm and held her back from attacking the poor doctor who looked ready to run away. Abby looked on at her and Patty, riddled between guilt and anger.

 

“Yeah, so – well, Holtzmann is out again-” she held up a hand to pause Patty’s interruption. “We had to put her under in order to calm her down, she went completely _berserk_.” Erin felt her gut clench, she might throw up.

 

“Is she okay?” Patty asked the question that Erin couldn’t find a voice for.

 

“Well – therein lies the real problem,” Abby shifted from one foot to the other, Erin having known her the longest, knew that this was a stalling technique that Abby did sometimes to calm herself down before delivering bad news.

 

“But?”

 

“There seems to be a complication with Dr. Holtzmann’s mind-” the neurologist finally piped up. Abby glared and he went back to shaking behind his clipboard.

 

“Listen, something _happened_ with that machine, it’s – well, it seems that her very _genetics_ have been altered somehow and it’s caused her to begin – I really don’t know how else to say it…”

 

“Spit it out, Abs!” Erin finally lost her patience, scared for her friend behind the closed door.

 

“She’s _de-aging_!” Abby spat out quickly. Erin’s jaw might have hit the floor, she wasn’t sure. Patty’s eyes bulged to the size of dinner plates.

 

“Y’know a year or so ago, I’d’ve thought there would be a camera crew ready to tell me that I was being Punk’d but right now I’m honestly terrified that you’re _not_ joking-” Patty finally found the words that were stuck in her voice box.

 

Abby shook her head, solemnly.

 

“At first I thought it was simple amnesia, she seemed to recall who I was, I mean we worked together for years before the Ghostbusters – but she had no idea about the team, the Rowan incident or..” Abby paused, glancing at Erin who felt her heart lurch at this news.

 

_Please, no…_

 

“She started just rambling on about a project that she thought she was going to have to miss teaching her kids back at the Institute, that she did over two years ago – and I started to tell her about the team and she sort of went crazy, it took four doctors to get her to calm down before we could sedate her, she was pretty upset.”

 

“So she doesn’t remember us at all?” Patty asked, motioning toward herself and Erin, who fought back the tears that threatened to fall.

 

“Are we absolutely _sure_ it’s not just amnesia?” Erin finally choked out. Abby shook her head.

 

“I wish it was, but it’s like the past two years have been completely wiped from her memory, to the date! I seriously think we’re dealing with something a little worse for wear here – and we need to fix it and soon..” Abby said, grim. Erin looked toward the neurologist who did nothing to confirm or deny Abby and simply looked solemn.

 

“I went over the blueprints, none of them make sense, I was never good at quantum mechanics-” Erin choked out. She wondered if it would ever stop feeling like the end of the world. Abby nodded.

 

“We’ll figure this out… Holtz wouldn’t give up on us and I don’t plan to give up on her,” Patty tried to be reassuring but both scientists knew as well as she that this was not looking at all good for the team, even less for Holtzmann.

 

“Her brain has shown some abnormalities-” the neurologist piped up, side-eyeing Abby. “-Of advanced regression, at this point her memory will begin to fade but at what pace, there’s nothing I can confirm. I’m sorry.”

 

“Can we see her at least?” Erin asked, glancing over to the closed door.

 

“She’s sedated for now, it should be safe, we’re going to continue monitoring her for now and she’ll be ready to discharge tomorrow-” the doctor confirmed.

 

“Two years of her memory in two days that she’s been out…” Patty mumbled. “You think maybe…?” Erin shook her head, Patty’s voice falling to the wayside, not wanting to think right now just how bad it could be: her brain was always in a state of _what if’s_ and worst case scenarios. For once, she just wanted it all to stop.

 

Erin didn’t bother waiting for the other two to follow, instead she walked right past them and into the room, her shoulders sagging upon seeing Holtzmann lying down in bed, she could see where the sheets and blanket were bunched messily around her legs from the earlier struggle.

 

Abby would mention later that Holtzmann had attempted to bolt, ripping an IV from her arm. Erin’s eyes swept over where it had been neatly bandaged back up again, her straw-blonde hair was unrulier than ever, fanned out in tangled curls around her head like a golden halo.

 

Erin took a seat next to Holtz’ legs on the bed and took Holtz’ hand gently in her own, cherishing the warmth of the woman’s skin beneath her fingers, at her dexterous, nimble fingers that made magic happen on a daily basis, that defied the laws of physics and were gentle, despite their roughness.

 

Erin couldn’t find the words to say, so she said nothing and simply gazed at the woman who had unknowingly wormed her way deep into the physicists’ heart, for what seemed like hours, but in reality had just been minutes.

 

Patty and Abby eventually joined her in the room, taking seats in the chairs and the hospital staff brought each of them a tray of food, the doctor on call that evening did not dare make a comment about the rules they were breaking with multiple visitors after hours and instead, offered up another chair for Erin to sit in as well as some extra blankets for the three of them to share so they could get comfortable.

 

None of the Ghostbusters would be separated tonight.

 

Erin woke to a thumb softly brushing her hand back and forth, she jerked her hand away from the slightly ticklish movements and sat up quickly, her neck shooting a painful jolt from having rested at an unusual angle overnight and then reveled at the sound of a gentle chuckle sounding from in front of her.

 

Her eyes glanced up and met the two cat-like cerulean eyes that she’d not seen in days and felt the weight of how much she’d missed them, pierce her.

 

“Holtzmann!” Erin sat up, blanket falling from her shoulders where someone, most likely Abby or Patty, must have placed it on her overnight. Speaking of; Patty and Abby were nowhere to be seen and Erin blinked, hoping this wasn’t a dream. The sun was shining through the window into the room however and she guessed the two had taken their leave to grab a bite to eat.

 

“Abby has told me many things about you, but she never mentioned just how cute you are when you first wake up,” Holtzmann winked and Erin felt her face grow warm at the attention she received. It wasn’t uncommon for Holtzmann to flirt with her, but it was another thing when Holtzmann was clearly not herself.

 

Erin’s eyes roved over the blonde, realizing that she had not changed much from what she was going through but there was a certain innocence about her that made Erin a little uneasy.

 

“Cat got your tongue?” Holtzmann smirked at Erin’s continued silence.

 

Erin fought down her urge to wipe that smirk off of the engineers face with a kiss – wait, _what_.

 

“Holtzmann, you know who I am?” Erin asked, hopeful that last nights news had all been a sick, twisted joke her subconscious had played on her.

 

“Dr. Erin Renée Gilbert, particle physicist and former friend of my dear friend Abby Yates, who you published a book with before taking off for Princeton to be _normal_ … or so the story goes,” Holtzmann answered, simply and Erin felt her eyes fall to her lap, hope diminished as she realized that it was true after all. Holtz had absolutely no idea who Erin really was to her. To any of them. Erin was practically a stranger.

 

Erin tried to pretend that it didn’t hurt when Holtzmann looked at her with a slight tilt of her head, much like she did whenever she was trying to understand a complicated problem on one of her machines. But it did.

 

Speaking of Abby, she and Patty returned talking to one another about something under their breath, pausing in the doorway however when they noticed Holtzmann and Erin both awake. Holtzmann brightened with Abby’s familiar presence.

 

“Holtz!” Patty grinned. Holtzmann smiled at the dark woman but Erin could see a trace of loss in her bright blue eyes, not really recognizing her.

 

“Hey! What’s good?” Holtz asked, blinking. “Damn, the light in here is _harsh_ , Abby you wouldn’t happen to have-?” Abby procured the yellow lenses that Holtz was so fond of from her pocket. Holtzmann reached for them happily and slid them onto her face.

 

“You’re my lifesaver, Dr. Yates!” she grinned.She looked a little bit more like herself, except _not_ , Erin knew and sighed. “So, which one of you fine ladies are busting me out of this joint? I got better things to do than sit around here all day!”

 

“Holtz, there are some things we need to discuss, and the doctors want to make sure you’re all right-” Abby started. Holtzmann however, waved her off much like Erin recalled her doing just days ago in her lab with a ‘pssshtt’ sound from her lips and a roll of her eyes.

 

“Abs, I’m _fine_ , never felt better! C’mon you _know_ I hate hospitals, get me outta here!” Holtzmann pouted. Erin couldn’t help but find her slightly adorable, despite feeling sick with worry.

 

“We’ll see what the doctors say after you get a CAT scan, ok?” right on cue, a young nurse came in and Holtz’ eyebrows rose with a saucy smirk on her lips and Erin held her breath to stop the onslaught of the green monster in her as Holtz began flirting with the nurse, asking all sorts of questions; mostly to do with her name and number and what she was doing Saturday night as the nurse ignored her advances and wheeled Holtzmann from the room.

 

“Okay, _that_ was awkward,” Patty stated, never one to beat around the proverbial bush.

 

“Right, so I guess we best tell Erin the plan-” Abby stated, Patty nodded in agreement.

 

“Plan?” Erin asked, looking away from the doorframe where Holtz had just exited and back to her colleagues. “What plan?”

 

“Listen, it seems with each day that passes, Holtz loses another year, it’s only a matter of time before she forgets _me_ too,” Abby said, seriously. “She doesn’t remember the Ghostbusters, or Rowan and soon she’ll even begin forgetting her science stuff that makes her the _Holtz_ that we know and love, so we need to try and formulate a plan to get as much out of her as we can, to try and fix this before she becomes…” Abby trailed off, not sure she could say the words.

 

“Look, I may not hold an advanced degree, but I did some research last night on the genetic markup of the human aging system, basically as Holtzy regresses, we are gonna have a limited window as to how to fix this before it becomes permanent-” Patty restated.

 

“She’s gonna have to be monitored, the doctors here can’t really do squat, so we need to really buckle down and get that machine fixed and figure out how to stop this before we lose Holtz because at this rate, with how it’s looking we’ve only got about 28 days-” Erin’s eyes snapped to Abby.

 

“28 days?!” Erin felt herself grow faint. “It took months, maybe even YEARS for Rowan to build that deathtrap! Who knows how far Holtz even got with it, how can we-?” her chest heaved in panic and Abby forced her to sit down.

 

“We will figure it out, Erin, just calm down, panicking won’t help us right now!” Erin took a few calming breaths, clenching and unclenching her hands in progressive muscle relaxation techniques that she learned as a child, trying to get herself back in order as one tear, then a second fell before she straightened her shoulders and wiped them away, furiously.

 

“Okay, so Holtz is de-aging, we have a machine to reverse – we don’t know _how_ yet, but we _will_ reverse it – and then things will go back to normal…” Erin stated out loud, more to herself than to the others.

 

“Right, so I met Holtz about six years ago, shortly after she got dismissed from CERN, so we have roughly, a few more days before she forgets about me and we all essentially become strangers to her, so we need to get our shit together, fast…” the team nodded collectively.

 

The three of them sat and began brainstorming while they waited for Holtzmann’s scans to be completed.

 

“Erin, you’re gonna have to keep an eye on Holtz-”

 

“Wait, what?! Why me?” Erin scoffed at the other two women as they grabbed lunch in the hospital cafeteria, still waiting for Holtzmann.

 

“Because you’re the mom friend, Gilbert,” Patty smirked, trying to keep things light in this dire situation. “Why d’you think? Look, I ain’t got no patience for kids right now, and Abby has a little bit better grip on quantum mechanics than you and I’ll focus on researching deeper into some of this genetics stuff-”

 

“Fine, okay, I’ll take care of her-” Erin sighed, a little bummed out at being labeled the ‘mom-friend’ but one part of her, a tiny, miniscule _selfish_ part of her was secretly pleased at the idea of getting to spend a little time with Holtzmann and intrigued to see this woman whom, despite having lived with her for a few months, she still knew so very little about.

 

“So that’s settled, I’m gonna head back upstairs and get Holtz’ paperwork started, you two should head back out, maybe contact the Mayor, we’re gonna have to put work on hold for a bit, nothing beyond class fours at most-” Abby and the other two agreed.

 

Ghostbusting would have to take the backburner until they could figure out how to fix their friend’s predicament. Besides if their equipment broke on a bust, they’d pretty much be shit out of luck without Holtzmann’s genius expertise on fixing it.

 

Holtzmann was released with a clean bill of health a little over two hours later, she blew a raspberry at the doctor and refused to sit correctly in the wheelchair as she was wheeled out to the ECTO-1 which she stared at slack-jawed for a good few minutes.

 

“ _Seriously?_ How freaking COOL is this!? Holy crap, you’re telling me not only do I bust ghosts with you guys, but I get to drive around in a souped-up hearse?!” Holtzmann cackled. “Dude, please tell me there’s a body in the back! I can think of at least _seven_ good uses of a cadaver to _day_!”

 

Patty shook her head with a fond smile and Erin fought a grin as Holtzmann begged Abby to drive but Abby argued that she had just woken up from a three-day comatose state and was in no state to drive so Holtzmann shrugged and slid into the backseat with Erin.

 

“We meet again, Doctor,” Holtzmann winked and Erin fought off the blush she knew would inevitably come from Holtzmann’s incessant flirting.

 

“Buckle up, Holtzmann,” Erin sighed. Holtzmann leered at the physicist with a cocky grin.

 

“You can call me Jillian, y’know – all the pretty girls do,” she winked and Erin stared out the window the rest of the ride, ignoring Holtzmann’s quips and watched the scenery pass by instead.

 

-GB-


	4. 25 Hello From The Other Side.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holtzmann Goes Wild. And Erin is a lovesick puppy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are LITERALLY the best ever!!! I'm so happy that you're all enjoying this.

Four days had passed and Abby and Patty had been sleeping in rounds of three hour increments, working in between them. Kevin had returned from his semis of hide-and-go seek and resumed sitting at his desk, waiting for a phone call, not realizing that they’d not yet plugged the phone back in and Erin was going absolutely out of her mind keeping up with a de-aging Holtzmann.

 

They were no closer to figuring out what was happening than they had been at the start. When they’d first arrived back at the Firehouse, Holtzmann had whistled low at their “sweet new digs” and had been ecstatic to learn she had her own room in the Firehouse, alongside the other three, but even more-so that she was neighbored with Erin’s own room, of whom continued ignoring the blonde’s relentless attempts at doing everything in her power to make the physicist turn as red as her hair.

 

Abby had managed to sway Holtzmann’s attention for a while with her inventions and the blueprints of the Rowan-machine, trying to see if any lightbulbs would go off.

 

To her credit, Holtzmann had tried for a while to understand her own handiwork, still a little shocked at the whole situation. Abby tried to make her feel a little better by regaling her with a few stories of Holtz’ time with the Ghostbusters that she had missed out on but ultimately, Holtzmann’s focus on the machine that started this entire cycle was gone with her memory.

 

As the days progressed Holtzmann lost more and more insight to her knowledge of nuclear engineering and thermodynamics and became less of use to the team in figuring out how the machine actually functioned. She no longer remembered Abby, which Erin noticed had disheartened her friend a little more than she’d expected but also made her more willing than ever to find a way to fix this whole situation.

 

In the meantime, Erin mused with a huff, she had been pointlessly trying to find the missing engineer, who had agreed to help Kevin prepare for his hide-and-go-seek finals by hiding in random places around the Firehouse with him. She was beginning to get frustrated with the amount of traps the blonde had somehow managed to procure in her spare time that caused miniature ‘poofs’ whenever Erin would get too close to a good hiding spot. Her anxiety was slowly reaching dangerous levels and she was beginning to consider whether she would look any good in an orange jumpsuit as she continued to peruse the Firehouse for their munitions expert.

 

The low sounds of snickering in the back end of the first floor caught her attention and as she approached with a remark ready to scold the scientist, she shot back as Kevin bounded out from behind a desk, a youthful Holtzmann on his back, cackling madly “onward!” as Kevin did her bidding like a proud older-brother and even made whinnying noises as he raced past Erin.

 

If Erin wasn’t so angry, she’d have found this sight quite endearing. The blonde was roughly about twenty-five at this point and had a penchant for making things explode around the firehouse and had it bad for pranking Kevin, who took it like a champ and treated Holtz much like a younger sibling, helping plot little pranks here and there on Erin and the others and Holtz showing Kevin simple science tricks, one of them creating a [static-ghost](https://sciencebob.com/make-a-static-powered-dancing-ghost/) with a balloon and a cartoon like ghost they’d cut out of tissue paper.

 

“Holtzmann!” Erin shouted after her as Kevin ran around the firehouse floor with Holtzmann, glasses nearly falling off of her face, hair pinned up back in its usual old fashion, her overalls were beginning to get baggier than usual and Erin knew that they needed to start thinking about getting more decent-sized apparel for Holtzmann depending on how much longer this would take to fix.

 

The next day, Erin steered clear of Holtzmann who had managed to create her own [bang-snaps](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bang_snaps) with much more highly-volatile gunpowder and continued to toss them around off of the roof at passerby’s, Erin sighed and decided to check on Abby and Patty’s progress.

 

Patty was taking a nap while Abby, eyes weary behind her glasses, read through a science manual while trying to balance a wire from the machine itself between her pliers.

 

“Any luck? Want me to take over for a few?” Erin offered, more than willing to get a break from Holtzmann since she was clearly able to entertain herself.

 

“I just don’t understand how this damned thing could create a vortex that essentially changed Holtzmann’s entire DNA…” Abby sighed, putting the pliers down and pushing her glasses into her hair, pinching the bridge of her nose.

 

“Go to bed, you and Patty have barely slept more than a few hours since this happened, get an actual eight hours and come back to it in the morning,” Erin pleaded, hating how her friends were putting forth so much effort into this and she felt stuck on babysitting duty, unable to really provide or produce any help that would suffice to fix their friend’s predicament.

 

Abby nodded, obviously too tired to argue.

 

“You’re right, you sure you don’t mind reading up on this a bit?” Abby asked.

 

“I’ve had enough sleep for the four of us,” a loud crash sounded from upstairs and Erin’s eyes closed in a sincere attempt to not lose her cool, Abby sent her an apologetic smirk. “Believe me, I don’t mind.”

 

“All right, you be sure to tell Patty then. G’night, Gilbert!” she waved as she headed toward the third floor.

 

Erin pulled Patty’s laptop over to her and opened it, ready to start helping out with some of the research, she readied a pen and notebook at her side to start taking down whatever notes she thought would help.

 

Holtzmann as it turns out, was even more of a reckless flirt at twenty-one than she was at thirty-two. Erin shook her head as the blonde engineer grinned maniacally at her after yet another sad pick-up line attempt that at this point was just beginning to bore Erin.

 

“Do you come with an off-switch? Because right now you’re really turning me on,” Erin rolled her eyes at the engineer.

 

“That’s really sad, even for you, Holtz,” Erin quipped, smirking a little when she noticed the engineer’s pout. That was another thing: twenty-one-year-old Holtzmann was a master of puppy-dog looks that drove Erin insane.

 

“Awe, you’re breakin’ my heart, Er-bear!” Holtzmann smirked as that particular nickname seemed to get a rise out of Erin, along with another eye roll.

 

“You’ll get over it,” she continued to read the equation on the board she’d been working at for hours that she and Abby had found yesterday that could possibly start the polarity reversal of Rowan’s machine.

 

“You’re cute when you get flustered,” Holtzmann spoke up again. Erin sighed, she adored Holtzmann, truly… but right now all she really wanted was to just work and right now it didn’t seem like the blonde was going to let that happen, so she capped her marker with a huff and placed a hand on her hip, glaring at the blonde with as hard of a look as she could manage.

 

“Whoa, ice woman… _chillax_ , I was joking – except not really,” Holtzmann smirked. Erin lost it.

 

“This isn’t _funny_ , Holtzmann!” Erin snapped. “You’re de- _aging_! Can you understand that? I know that you’re mentally twenty-one years old right now and that everything in the world seems like it’s one big joke to you but it’s _not_ , Holtzmann, okay?” Holtzmann’s smirk faltered and her face took on a serious note, but Erin was far from done, feeling the pressure of the last week finally erupting from her like a dam had been broken.

 

“Tomorrow you’re going to wake up and once again we’ll all have to explain this entire process to you of why you’re NOT living in a dorm room at Columbia or M.I.T. or _wherever_ but this is your _life_ in our hands and we’re _trying to fix you_ and you can’t just sit there and flirt and smile and act like nothing is wrong when EVERYTHING IS WRONG!”

 

Holtzmann said nothing as Erin finished her rant. Patty was standing at the edge of the stairs and saw the entire thing go down as Holtzmann stood silently from Abby’s desk and grabbed her favorite leather jacket and walked past Erin without another word.

 

“Damn, baby, I know we’re all a little stressed, but maybe take it easy on her, y’know? She knows this is serious-” Patty approached, calmly. Erin deflated.

 

“I know that, it’s just -” Erin’s eyes stung and her heart _hurt_ for the younger woman as she wished, not for the first time that this was all some horrible dream that she could wake up from. That she could go upstairs and see Holtz, _their_ Holtz just goofing around the lab, probably dancing to some cheesy 80’s song on the radio.

 

“We all miss her, but she’s still here with us, don’t lose sight of that yet,” Patty had been their voice of reason a lot lately, it seemed. She put a hand on Erin’s shoulder and didn’t say anything as Erin sniffled, fighting back her pain. “Look at it this way, you’re getting to see a side of Holtz that she doesn’t easily offer up on her own… get to know her, _all_ of her. Yeah?”

 

Erin nodded. She wiped the moisture from her eyes and glanced up at Patty, grateful for her guidance.

 

“Good. Now go find her, because I have a feeling that a twenty-one-year-old will be wanting to go barhopping after that argument and there are a _lot_ of bars in New York City,” Patty gave her a light shove towards the door and Erin let out a humorless chuckle but grabbed her jacket and headed out into the cool New York evening. 

* * *

 

Erin has no difficulty finding the blonde, having placed a tracker on her smartphone shortly after losing her and Kevin both in Central Park two days ago. She’s at a small pub in Greenwich Village, enjoying a beer and flirting with some no-name redhead that causes Erin’s stomach to twist a little bit.

 

_Talk to her. Keep your cool, Gilbert._

 

Erin approaches and the redhead notices first and Holtzmann turns after noticing her drinking buddy is no longer focused solely on her.

 

“Gilbert,” Holtzmann sighed. “Of all the gin joints...” Erin feels her heart stutter at that line and she clasps a hand over her mouth, trying not to let the sob tear through and looks away, towards the bar. Holtzmann notices this and sends the other redhead away before turning on her barstool toward Erin, who is glancing up at the menu scrawled along a chalkboard above their heads.

 

“No need to cry over it… I’m sorry – I’m not very good at saying the right thing-” Erin finally looks at Holtz, who is sheepish and twists the napkin that had been beneath her beer, in her hands idly.

 

“It’s not – you didn’t,” Erin sighed. “It’s just – you quoted that same thing to me… the day of your accident. You knew that it’s one of my favorite movies,” Erin explained. Holtzmann seemed to brighten a little bit at this.

 

“Yeah? Who doesn’t love _Casablanca_ , my Ma used to be a real movie buff, owned all of the classics, I only came to appreciate them after-” she stopped, abruptly a blank look taking over soft blue eyes. Erin didn’t push, noticing the blonde’s smile falter, she gripped the back of the empty stool next to Holtzmann and continued.

 

“It just – it reminded me so much of you, the _old_ you,” Holtzmann shrugged.

 

“Can’t say I’ve really changed that much, although…” she glances back at Erin and pulls the stool out, motioning for her to sit. Erin does. “I’ll admit; I do regret that I don’t remember you. Or Patty… or Kevin, he seems like a real treasure,” Erin’s face burns and she curses herself internally for falling for this younger woman who is obviously in the middle of a huge crises and all she can think about is just how sweet and amazing and _kind_ she is. But she returns the blonde’s sweet smile.

 

“Believe me, there isn’t much to know-” Erin speaks up.

 

“Now see _that_ right there tells me there’s more to you than you’re letting on,” she states, taking a healthy swig of her beer and she closes her eyes for a moment, savoring it. “Y’know, rule 101 of understanding women is to know that there’s always more to them than what meets the eye.”

 

“You don’t say,” Erin snorts.

 

“Really!” Holtzmann smiles and Erin laughs. Holtz motions to the bartender for two more drinks.

 

“Observe. Lesson one: you just allowed me to buy you a drink without a single thought as to what you even like which tells me that you either A: are really open about your alcohol or B: are truly desperate to please me, which by the way, you totally do anyway,” Holtzmann winks beseechingly. Erin’s ears are burning red by now and she takes a large drink of the beer that is handed to her by the bartender. She blanches.

 

It is, in fact, horrible and not at all what she likes, but Holtzmann is right (much to her dismay), that she will pretty much do anything to please others around her. Holtzmann just watches as her face comes back from the twist it made after finishing her drink.

 

“So, Dr. Gilbert – may I ask _now_ what you _actually_ would like to drink?” Holtzmann smirks, taking a swig of her own beer.

 

“What _did_ I just drink? It tastes like piss,” Erin belched and blushed, excusing herself while Holtzmann snorted into her own glass.

 

“Murphy’s Red Stout,” Holtzmann shrugged with a lazy grin. “It’s one of the better Irish beers. Not like that shit Guinness.” Erin nodded, she remembered Guinness well from her own college days, she’d never cared for dark beers either, they always filled her up too quickly and made her feel sick too early.

 

“I didn’t really come to drink so much as to apologize-”

 

“Pah, save your apologies,” Holtzmann patted her hand. “Drink with me if you want to apologize, after all, tomorrow I’ll no longer legally be allowed to!” she grinned, tilting her glass to Erin with a charming grin, polishing off her pint.

 

Erin frowned. She was all too aware of the situation and could see now that Holtz, too knew how serious it was if they didn’t fix things soon. With that thought Erin ordered a pilsner and Holtzmann continued to drink her stout, they enjoyed a comfortable silence and drank and laughed until last call.

 

Erin hailed them both a cab, holding up a rather tipsy, giggling Holtzmann and rattled off the address as Holtz slid in beside her.

 

“Noooo,” Holtz argued. “I refuse to go home until I’ve properly apologized – _hic_ – for my behavior! Driver!” she interrupted Erin’s protests and rattled off another address to the cabbie and before Erin could stop him, they were standing in the heart of Times Square.

 

“Holtz, you need to sleep, we’ve had a lot to drink tonight,” Erin argued but Holtz paid the cabbie and they got out in the center of the lights and noise and heartbeat of New York City.

 

“Erin, the night is still young, and so are we!” Holtz laughed. “Live a little, even if just for tonight!”

 

“You’re _drunk_ ,” Erin shook her head, but smiled fondly.

 

“So are you,” Holtz fired back and took Erin’s hand, lacing their fingers together seamlessly and Erin found herself no longer in any mood to argue as Holtz dragged them through the bustling city, stopping at a food cart to grab a Nathan’s Hot Dog (“It’s a New York tradition!”) and then pausing to snap cheesy photos with the rip-off Elmo and other Sesame Street Characters off of 41st.

 

Erin laughed as Holtzmann would randomly pick out people to stalk behind and mimic them, whether it was a businessperson chattering away on their cellphone or an unsuspecting tourist taking in all the sights of the City that never sleeps.

 

Eventually, they were recognized by some patrons and took photos with them, Holtzmann wrapped her arms around Erin’s waist, grinning into her neck.

 

“Tonight, we are young,” Holtzmann sing-songed low in Erin’s ear as they took in the nightlife together and Holtzmann begged Erin to stop at just one more store because _balloons_.

 

Not for the first time, Erin wished that time would just stand still, even if for a moment as she took in all things Holtzmann who seemed to come alive around the hustle and bustle of the city and she swore that her heart felt just a little bit bigger as she fell a little bit deeper for the eccentric blonde.

 

-GB-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like it? Leave me a kudos or a review to let me know! :3 or come yell at me on twitter/tumblr @ljthebard !!!


	5. 20 Below

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Gorin is the real Mom here. Holtz is sneaky and Erin's anxiety suffers even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asdfghjkl;!! you guys just keep flooring me with how much you love this story. I keep telling myself I'll space these chapters apart but you're just so amazing and lovely and I cannot help it so here is my gift to you for being so AWESOME!

Erin woke with a slight headache, a gentle reminder to the wonderful evening she’d spent with the blonde engineer. She eventually managed to talk Holtz into coming back to the Firehouse roughly around three AM, the blonde agreed albeit reluctant, but had begun feeling the effects of the alcohol as well as the machine and as Erin recalled the engineer’s predicament, her eyes snapped open and she sat up, sunlight gleaning outside of her window.

 

Erin exited her room, noticing that nobody else was in the communal kitchen but could hear murmurs from downstairs in the lab so she hit the fire pole (which she rarely did, but it was admittedly quicker) and spotted the source of the noise.

 

Abby and Patty were awake, looking much better than they had in the last week or so whilst trying to figure out the machine, but a new body graced their presence today and Erin took in the familiar head of dark red curls and Buddy Holly frames.

 

“Dr. Gorin!” Erin greeted, surprise lacing her tone. The older woman stood behind the machine, prodding the blueprints with her pen and glanced up at the sound of her name, brown eyes locking with Erin’s ocean-blue.

 

“Dr. Gilbert, a pleasure to see you – I wish the circumstances weren’t so dire,” Dr. Gorin returned to her work without any further conversation from Erin and she looked over to Abby and Patty for an explanation.

 

“We weren’t getting anywhere and there’s nobody else who would look at Holtzmann’s work without laughing our ears off,” Abby shrugged. Erin held back her _I told you so_ remarks on how this was a perfectly acceptable reason for needing to be seen more seriously in the public eye.

 

“Dr. Gorin is going to attempt to reverse the machine, she understands the workings and such but it’s still a stretch,” Patty explained.

 

“Oh, a stretch is far from it,” Dr. Gorin interrupted, not looking up from her work. The woman seemed to have the ears of a bat, Erin internalized. “My pupil, it seems has been messing with a technology even I don’t think _she_ understands.”

 

“Well, thank you for coming Dr. Gorin,” Erin called out over her shoulder before turning back to her teammates. “Seriously? There was nobody else?” Erin tried to squash down the little voice in her head that sounded like jealousy rising in the back of her mind like a Viper ready to strike. She had to remain professional, but since she met the mentor of her colleague, she’d never quite felt that comfortable around her.

 

“She’s the only one who understands how Holtzmann’s inventions work, Erin,” Patty placed a calming hand on her shoulder. “Speaking of Holtzy, where did you two run off to so late last night?” Erin stammered through an excuse and Patty smirked, knowingly.

 

“I better go find her…”

 

“As I live and breathe! _Dr. Gorin!_ ” Erin’s eyes closed as her escape was ruined by said scientist, looking a little more frazzled than usual, hair unkempt and barely tied back into a messy bun.

 

“Jillian,” Dr. Gorin gave the young woman a cursory glance and then did a double-take. She’d apparently not had the opportunity to see what exactly the machine had done to her charge. Holtzmann was a sight for sore eyes in her loose fitted PANTERA crop top and army fatigue pants that had been cut off at the shins to make them into capris, mismatched socks and aviator goggles dangling around her neck.

 

“Hey, I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind giving me an extension on that paper for radioactive particles – but first I need to ask, how did I wind up here?” Holtzmann glanced around the lab like a child in a candy store on Christmas morning. “Did you get a new place and not tell me? It’s freakin’ _sweet!_ ”

 

“Language, Jillian,” Dr. Gorin sighed. Holtzmann rolled her eyes and then spotted the trio of Ghostbusters.

 

“Hi! Are y’all Gorin’s minions?” Patty shook her head, Abby looked uncomfortable and Erin felt her heart sink as she once again looked into familiar blue eyes that looked back at her with no hint of recognition in them.

 

“Holtzy, let’s take a walk,” Patty offered after noticing the other scientists’ discomfort.

 

“Have we met? You seem like a pretty cool chick, and hey you’re _tall!_ Any chance I could get a piggy back ride from you sometime?” Holtzmann chattered away as Patty placed an arm around the young scientists’ shoulders and led her downstairs, going on and on about the size of this place and nuclear fission.

 

“It’s worse than I thought,” Dr. Gorin finally piped up, breaking through the other two women’s inner musings over their friend.

 

“You’re tellin’ me, I thought Holtz’ crazy got worse as she got older – I was clearly wrong,” Abby directed at Erin.

 

“Not that, the _machine_ ,” Dr. Gorin sighed, placing her pen down on the blueprints. “It seems that my protégé overstepped her own limitations in this – not that that should still surprise me.”

 

“Are you saying – can… it be fixed?” Erin felt the familiar lump in her throat struggle to let her breathe properly. Dr. Gorin looked at Erin over her glasses.

 

“I’m saying this may take some _time_ , something that after seeing Jillian like _that_ is something we clearly have very little of…” Dr. Gorin shook her head, obviously at a loss after seeing the blonde. “I’m going to need a team.” She held up a hand to stop Abby from interrupting.

 

“I have the right people in mind, but it may be tricky to get them _here_ on such short notice, but I think with their help, that I can get this reversed… but we need to act quickly and I cannot stress enough that you all have done your part – Now, I just need to know that _someone_ will see to it that Jillian will be okay,” in that moment, the scientist disappeared and Dr. Gorin sounded every bit like a concerned parental figure.

 

“Of course, we’ll keep a close eye on her,” Erin responded, a little affronted. She wanted her friend back just as well as any of them. Another stern look from Dr. Gorin silenced her irritation.

 

“How much do you three actually _know_ about Jillian’s past? Take it from me, raising her wasn’t easy… I highly doubt watching her regress at such a progressive rate will be any easier-” Erin’s eyebrows rose at this tidbit of information. She knew the woman before her had been Holtzmann’s mentor, but _raising_ her? What did _that_ mean? Erin was ready to argue but Abby stopped her with a hand on her forearm.

 

“I know enough, but we’ll take it on as it comes,” Abby answered. “I’ll get on the phone now with the Mayor, he’ll fund whatever you need-” Abby sounded hopeful and Erin tried to latch onto that as she was left alone with the elder scientist.

 

An awkward silence filled the lab as Dr. Gorin set to writing down notes on her tablet that she’d procured from thin air, apparently. She seemed to not notice Erin at all as she tapped out something on the tech so Erin cleared her throat. Brown eyes glanced up in surprise.

 

“How – what did you mean? When you said that you _raised_ Holtz?” Erin’s curiosity was peaked. Dr. Gorin tapped something more on her tablet with a murmur under her breath and Erin wondered if she had been dismissed without explanation, but then the elder woman locked the tablet and set it down, pulling her glasses off to meet Erin’s eyes.

 

“I’ve known Jillian since she was still in her mothers’ womb, her mother and I were partners at NYU for years,” Dr. Gorin explained, slowly. She seemed to be looking through Erin now, as though trapped in a memory with a fond smile gracing her features.

 

“She was a brilliant child, always wanting to know the answers behind every little thing – it drove her parents insane at times, but I always knew she was special – and then her parents passed away.” Erin tried to not let her shock peer through. She knew very little about Holtz’ past, including anything to do with her parents, but to be fair, the blonde was a very private person and didn’t often open up about her past.

 

“I took her in and did the best I could, she of course had _those_ years that she rebelled against anything and everything, including me,” Dr. Gorin continued, ignoring the discomfort on Erin’s face at having learned the information. “But I digress – I think you should just be prepared for it to get worse before it can get any better.” Erin met Dr. Gorin’s eyes which were now fully focused on the physicist in earnest.

 

Erin nodded, saying nothing but hoping her message was conveyed as Dr. Gorin dismissed her, or rather just went back to the blueprints and tapping out something on her tablet. Erin turned away, ready to face the oncoming storm. 

* * *

 

The Mayor actually followed through on his promise and they’d managed to get a team of three of Dr. Gorin’s closest contacts to the Firehouse within 48 hours. Her team immediately set to work while Abby and Patty having been thrown out of their own work stations, had decided that the Ghostbusters be put back on the clock, to keep their idle hands busy. And busy, they stayed.

 

Erin meanwhile, was still on babysitting duty while the team went on one call after the next. It seemed that ghosts didn’t care that Holtzmann wasn’t well and even poor Kev was actually getting irritated by the amount of times the phone rang off the hook.

 

“I think I know how the first phone wound up in the fish tank-” Erin swore she heard Kevin mutter when he hung up another call. Abby and Patty, who’d just finished putting their gear back up, strapped back down with heavy sighs.

 

“Damn, I guess now’s a bad time to bring up the idea of vacation?” Patty asked, half-joking as she and Abby loaded up the ECTO-1 with a little help from Erin.

 

“Guys, are you sure I shouldn’t come along?” Erin offered, tired of feeling so worthless and being pushed aside like she wasn’t a part of the team. She knew that it shouldn’t affect her like it did, but she really felt that Holtzmann was capable of looking after herself for a couple hours.

 

“No, you have to keep an eye on Holtz, I swear if I open the fridge to one more stink-bomb going off I’m gonna quit,” Abby and Erin fought to hide their smirks as Patty huffed, they knew her threats were empty but her anger was 100% not.

 

It seemed that younger Holtzmann got, the messier her pranks became, much to the dismay of the rest of the team. Abby still wasn’t sure what the purple goo in her chair was made of, or how to get it out and Erin had had a difficult time keeping up with the energetic younger woman who seemed to just go insane from having nothing to take apart or build, Dr. Gorin having banished the young engineer from the second floor until they could reverse the effects of the machine. Whatever her secret, Holtz clearly didn’t try to cross it and Erin wished she knew.

 

“Aw, c’mon guys, Er-bear and I should tag along!” seventeen-year-old Holtzmann popped up from nowhere, startling Erin. Glasses perched on the edge of the teens’ thin nose, delivering a saucy grin and a wink at Erin who cursed her lack of melanin as her cheeks brightened. “Besides, I wanna see some of this machinery I supposedly built in _action!_ ”

 

“No way, no how,” Patty argued with a glare, arms crossed. Holtzmann pouted, glancing to Abby.

 

“It’s too dangerous, Holtzmann,” Abby agreed. “You don’t know how to work this stuff-”

 

“Aw, but I’m a fast learner! C’mon, Abs! You _know_ me – well, sort of! Erin?” Erin shook her head, firm on this one.

 

“Abby and Patty are right, it’s too dangerous for you,” Holtzmann rolled her eyes with a groan and tossed them all a two fingered salute, whirling around on her unlaced combat boot and sulking away.

 

“Keep an eye on her?” Abby asked as Patty climbed into the ECTO-1 and started the sirens. Erin nodded and watched them depart before heading back into the Firehouse to try and track down the elusive engineer.

 

“Holtzmann?” Erin called out, knowing the blonde couldn’t have gone far. She glanced around the eerily quiet floor and noticed Kevin looking through a magazine, humming nonchalant. He glanced up from behind his reading material as Erin approached. “Kev, have you seen Holtz?”

 

“Oh, yeah, she took the keys to the bike and said not to tell you – but I know that _you_ told me last week to always tell you when Holtzmann tells me _not_ to tell you something,” Kevin smiled like the golden retriever that he had to have been in a previous life.

 

“She _what_?!” Erin felt her heart plummet. The ECTO-2 had been a secondary mode of transportation that none of the team had used or even seen since the Rowan incident when possessed!Kevin had taken over it to get downtown ahead of the Ghostbusters. But Holtzmann had refused to let them part with it after seeing it and agreed to fix it up and make it run a little better in no time.

 

Now Holtzmann had managed to take off on it and Erin was pretty sure that she had no idea how to even drive a motorbike at this age.

 

Erin tore through the Firehouse to grab her gear and the keys to her personal car that she and the other Ghostbusters agreed to keep, for mundane things like grocery runs and such when the team didn’t want to use the ECTO-1 for non-busts.

 

Unfortunately, New York traffic did not seem to care that Erin was a Ghostbuster, especially driving around in a silver Prius through downtown in the middle of rush hour.

 

“C’mon! _Damnit_ Abby! Patty! Answer your phones!” She continued to use her blue-tooth to dial the other women and warn them about Holtz, which chances were at this rate, Erin would probably make it to the bust after they’d already caught the ghost _and_ Holtzmann and Erin would never hear the end of it.

 

“I’m going to tie her to a damn chair tomorrow, so help me-” Erin growled under her breath as she fought the gridlock on 5th Avenue.

 

Eventually, frustration won out and she parked on the business side of the street, knowing she would likely get towed and lugged her gear an entire six blocks over to where she knew Abby and Patty would be handling a class three apparition that was causing mayhem in the kitchen of an upscale restaurant. The owner was on his last limb trying to prepare for the dinner hour without getting killed by a poltergeist who had a penchant for knife tossing.

 

She knew she’d arrived when she could hear Abby’s screams more-so than seeing the flash of active proton packs from behind the kitchen doors. The staff and kitchen manager were waiting, albeit with frightened looks toward the doors, a little impatiently in the empty dining area.

 

“Did any of you see a young blonde that may have come through here?” Erin questioned a bored waitress.

 

“You mean the blonde Ghostbuster? Yeah she’s in there somewhere with the other two-” Erin didn’t hear the rest as she bust through the kitchen doors, ducking immediately when she felt more than saw an empty stainless steel pot narrowly miss the left side of her face.

 

Luckily, as soon as she was level with the tile floor, her eyes landed on young Holtzmann, who was crouched low behind a stove, torn between looking terrified and excited at the mess that the poltergeist was causing.

 

“On your right!” Patty hollered and the familiar sound of her proton pack lit up the room in a faint orange-glow.

 

“ _Holtz!_ ” Erin hissed and Holtzmann’s blue eyes immediately caught hers. Holtz looked on at Erin with honest guilt as she noticed the fear in Erin’s eyes as the physicist practically low-crawled over to the blonde. “ _What_ were you thinking?!” she snapped as soon as she reached Holtzmann, grabbing her arms as if to ensure that the blonde was really there and safe – for the most part.

 

“I wanted to see the proton packs work-” Holtz shrugged as if this was an everyday occurrence, which technically it _was_ but Holtzmann wasn’t in the right mindset to understand that. Erin rolled her eyes.

 

“You. Stay put. Understand?” Erin’s voice deadly calm, serious. Holtzmann nodded and Erin let a breath of relief leave her before she jumped up, proton pack on and at the ready.

 

The poltergeist obviously had no idea that Erin was there, nor did Abby or Patty at that, so when she shouted at the ghost “Over here, bitch!” Abby’s eyes bulged and Patty accidentally fired her ghost chipper in the wrong direction where it immediately started sucking in kitchen tools from around Erin and _not_ the ghost and Erin swore her life flashed before her eyes as she saw an entire set of kitchen knives and a cast iron skillet come at her from multiple directions.

 

Before she could even scream, the right side of her body was tackled to the ground with a loud grunt from her or the blonde, she wasn’t sure and another shout from Abby of “NOW!” and then a poltergeists’ screams over the sound of Patty’s chipper. The kitchen went silent, Erin could still hear the sound of her own heart pounding furiously in her ears and her breathing evening out, mingled with that of the blonde’s on top of her, who looked on at Erin, fearful, yet relieved.

 

“Are you ok?” Holtzmann breathed, wincing as she scrambled to get off of Erin. Erin noticed then a long slice along Holtzmann’s bicep, blood staining her gray t-shirt.

 

“You’re bleeding, Holtz!” Holtzmann shrugged with a gentle smirk.

 

“Better me than you,” Erin felt her heart catch as she realized the blonde had saved her life, regardless that she’d been the reason Erin had been put in danger in the first place.

 

“What in the frilly _Hell_ are you two doing here?!” Abby shouted at them as they found Erin and Holtz crouched down where Holtz had tackled Erin behind a worktable and Erin was grasping Holtz’ bleeding arm.

 

“You must have a death wish, because I swear – this is just insane, especially for you, Gilbert!” Patty swore, shaking her head at the two as Holtz shrugged and grinned with a weak “Hi?” while Erin tore off a sleeve from her own shirt under her overalls and tied it around Holtz’ arm to stave off the bleeding. “Could one of you check for the First Aid Kit?”

 

“I don’t wanna know how – let’s just get her bandaged and go home,” Abby shook her head passing a med kit to Erin and the two of them walked out behind Abby and Patty moments later, Holtz’ head hung low in guilt as she trailed behind but reached for Erin with her good arm.

 

“I’m really sorry Erin, I know that I shouldn’t have-” Erin shook her head solemnly.

 

“I’m not going to tell you it’s ok, Holtz, just – don’t do that again, ok? You’re smarter than this,” Erin said, knowing her disappointment reflected in her voice and Holtzmann actually nodded, quietly climbing into the back of the hearse with Erin.

 

“Erin, isn’t that your car?” Abby asked as they passed a tow truck slowly pulling Erin’s Prius away in the opposite direction. Erin let her head fall back into the seat and she closed her eyes with a deep inhale through her nose, fighting off her desire to scream in frustration.

 

Moments later, a gentle hand landed on top of her own over the seat and Erin blinked her eyes open but did not move her hand as the other squeezed her own and Erin cursed her traitorous heart for not being able to remain angry with the insufferable blonde as she turned her hand over and squeezed back, pretending she didn’t see Holtz smiling at her profile the rest of the ride back home.

 

-GB-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teehee. :3


	6. 12 Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holtzmann is a cutie-pie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys so much. Really.

As the days progressed, nothing had changed: Dr. Gorin’s team continued to work round-the-clock, Abby, Patty and Erin doing their best to make sure they all were well fed and woken up in shifts, sleeping on spare cots or an open bed during the daylight hours and Erin did her best to ensure that Holtzmann no longer left her sight, especially when a call came in.

 

Holtzmann eventually seemed to tame down a little bit as she hit her early teen stages and Erin found herself unable to stop smiling despite the seriousness of the entire situation. She sat with a curious twelve-year-old Jillian Holtzmann who didn’t really care so much to sneak out as much as she enjoyed finding little do-dads around the Firehouse to take apart and attempt to put them back together.

 

Patty was _not_ pleased when she found Holtzmann in the “living” area, surrounded by wiring and circuitry that had once been their shared 62-inch flat-screen TV. (“ _Erin, I thought you were handling this!_ ”)

 

Even though Holtzmann knew who Dr. Gorin was, the blonde still found herself attached to Erin’s side more often than anyone else, enjoying the company of the redhead almost as much as the physicist enjoyed watching a young Holtzmann take apart their microwave for the third time in a row, not at all concerned if the blonde was going to be able to figure out how to put it back together again.

 

She was absolutely enamored by Holtzmann’s curious nature, wondering if she’d really been like this the first time around (Dr. Gorin confirmed that Jillian indeed was exactly how she seemed), the blonde was intrigued with everything and questioning and always wanting to learn more, she eventually joined Erin on the sofa after having (successfully) put the TV back together and read over the physicists’ shoulder as she scanned through an old physics journal and asked Erin to explain certain phenomena here and there or to explain in detail what a formula did. Erin was more than happy to oblige this younger Holtzmann’s interest and once more, wished for time to just stand still a little bit longer.

* * *

It seems no matter what age, Jillian Holtzmann absolutely loathed broccoli, so Erin did her best to make sure that a second green vegetable was prepared so that she hoped she could talk Holtzmann into eating healthy. Patty joined in the cooking after returning from a trip to her cousins’ apartment for better fitting clothes for their young friend.

 

“Her daughter is about Holtzmann’s age now so these should fit,” Patty pulled out a few items from a duffel that made the ten-year-old Holtzmann’s nose crinkle in disgust at the sight and Erin couldn’t stop herself from laughing at her face.

 

“Does it have to be pink?” young Holtzmann asked, obviously ready to stick with wearing her own oversized shirts and Erin’s tiny bowties that she still seemed to have a mild fascination with. Her hair was wilder and curlier now than it had ever been, so much so that not even Erin was able to help the young girl tame it back so it just fell down her shoulders in long, tangled curls. She no longer wore her trademark yellow glasses so her bright blue eyes were almost always squinting in the harsh white lights of the firehouse and Dr. Gorin, on one of her brief breaks, managed to procure a smaller pair of rose-colored lenses for Holtzmann that fit.

 

“Photosensitivity,” Dr. Gorin explained. “She was born prematurely and her eyes have always been rather sensitive to UV exposure, she would suffer the worst migraines at times,” she explained nonchalantly to the team that afternoon when Holtzmann happily ran around with her new glasses, showing Kevin excitedly and then making fun of his lens-less frames.

 

Time was crunching down; Erin knew it, Abby knew it… Dr. Gorin knew it most of all and promised they were close to a break-through. Her lab partner, a geneticist from Oslo, Dr. Wojcicki had managed to explain to them on the evening of Holtz’ eighth year that the machine was originally meant to help reverse what made ghosts appear on this plane, once they crossed the barrier that Rowan had opened, that made them physically able to touch, harm and project themselves as actual beings, not just ectoplasm on the visible light spectrum. But when Holtzmann had attempted to reverse the process, it targeted the genes of live cells and thus caused the de-aging process whereas it was assumed that she’d meant for it to cause ghosts to become weaker and therefore easier to target/capture.

 

Erin, Abby and Patty all agreed that it seemed like something Holtzmann would have messed with and Erin felt a tender bit of pride for the young child who was eating her peas with a sour look on her face, knowing that she probably would not have stopped Holtzmann from attempting to build the machine, despite what had occurred. She was always thinking ahead, for the team and their safety, usually with little regard to her own.

 

Now they only had about a week left before Holtzmann would cease to exist and Erin found herself unable to sleep with the thought of a world without Holtzmann bogging down her mind. Outside, the remnants of the latest Nor’easter pelted against her window adding to her melancholy backdrop. Rain and thunder and wind whipping at the city outside in sheets, blurring the lights around the city, causing an eerie glow in Erin’s quarters.

 

Lightning flashed and it caused Erin to completely miss her door opening and shutting rapidly, but soon she felt her mattress dip beside her and she jumped at the lump shivering under her covers that squeaked as a boom of thunder clapped overhead.

 

Erin lifted the covers gently and two frightened cat-like blue eyes met hers before the blanket was ripped from her grasp and pulled back over the blonde head of curls. Erin’s heart simultaneously warmed and then broke for the young girl who was obviously frightened of the storm outside as another flash of lightning struck, followed immediately by a clap of thunder and the figure beneath her covers shook like a leaf in a harrowing windstorm.

 

“Holtz – _Jillian_ ,” Erin corrected, remembering earlier that she preferred to be called by her given name now, stroking the young girls back over the duvet. “It’s ok, the thunder can’t hurt you, it’s nothing more than air particles vibrating from the movement of sound-” Holtzmann’s blonde head just barely peeked out from under the covers and Erin smiled at the girl, hoping to soothe her worries.

 

“Y-you know my name?” Erin’s smile fell. It was apparent that Holtzmann had already de-aged and had forgotten the last 24 hours… _again_.

 

Erin nodded though and swallowed back the monotonous lump in her throat as she focused on calming the child that crawled into her arms. Holtzmann nuzzled Erin’s clavicle, squeezing her sleep-shirt with every pass of rumbling thunder as Erin continued to explain the movement of light and sound particles that caused the thunderstorm outside and it eventually soothed the child to rest, tiny puffs of air escaping the child’s mouth, warming Erin’s neck but not so much as to be uncomfortable. Her chest rose and fell against Erin’s and the physicist ran a hand through messy blonde curls, feeling her eyes grow heavy alongside her heart.

 

“I know you don’t understand this right now, Jillian, but you’re _so_ loved by everyone in this building…” Erin felt a tear escape her eye and ran down the side of her face, into the fabric of her pillow. “We’re going to fix this and get you back, I promise.” The child let out another quiet breath and a hum and snuggled deeper into Erin’s side, falling asleep to the sound of the physicist’s heart beating strong inside of her chest, despite that it felt like it was in shards. _Soon…_ and with that last thought, Erin too, fell asleep cradling the young blonde in her arms.

 

The next few days seemed to pass with more of the team’s hope dwindling by the minute. Holtz continued to grow younger, no longer really recognizing anyone, barely even recalling memories of Dr. Gorin and instead just ignored everyone in favor of climbing on Kevin’s back for piggy-back rides and hiding from Patty who continued to try and chase the blonde around with a hairbrush, threatening to tame the young blondes’ rats nest of curls.

 

Abby focused on keeping the tyke out of the second floor lab while the scientists continued to make the machine work correctly and Erin learned the of the blonde’s love for peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwiches with no crusts, and macaroni with tuna fish mixed in.

 

She was always excited about brushing her teeth so she could act like a rabid dog and scare Kevin who honestly got a fright from the wild-child who would pop up from behind Kevin’s computer, foaming at the mouth. Erin was not at all surprised to see that Holtz’ front two teeth were slightly larger than the rest, confirming her suspicions that the woman must have eventually had to have had braces growing up.

 

She took the youthfully oblivious Holtz out when she was five, the toddler demanding to be called “Jilly-bean” and called Erin “Missus” much to Abby’s own delight, attempting to keep the child entertained while the other two headed out to a bust in Harlem, hoping they’d receive better news when they got back. Dr. Gorin was growing impatient, too though and worked herself to the bone, trying to get the machine to work correctly after having already failed twice.

 

Erin could sense that their time with Holtzmann was running out, so she did what she could and tried to make the best of it, praying to a God she didn’t believe in for a miracle.

 

-GB-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go from here!!! :3


	7. 4.. 3.. 2..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been one helluva ride. I am forever grateful for all of y'all's support with this story and I cannot thank you enough for reading and I hope you enjoy this final chapter :3

“This is it,” Dr. Gorin stated to the team of people around her. Patty and Abby flanked Erin, who had an infant Holtz perched on her hip, looking around at the people in the lab, all looking dog-tired, but hopeful at the complete machine sitting on Holtz’ worktable.

 

“Is it ready?” Erin asked, feeling slightly protective of the young Jillian in her arms. She’d never once considered herself maternal, but as Holtzmann grew younger and lost the ability to make connections with words and actions, she suddenly felt more responsible to handle the toddler’s fits and outbursts. She was now calm, having just woken from a nap with Erin rocking her in her desk chair downstairs and was sucking on her fingers, blonde tufts poking out in every which direction from sleep, blue eyes wide and curious.

 

“We’ve done everything that can possibly be done,” Dr. Gorin shook her head. “This is truly _it_.” Her solemn note left the Ghostbusters with a heavy feeling in the air, like a lead weight that settled heavy in the pits of their stomachs.

 

Erin felt her eyes sting as she looked down at the two-year-old Holtzmann in her arms. The toddler grinned up at her from behind her slobbery fist, revealing tiny baby teeth and dimples and Erin smiled despite her heart taking its own last leap of faith.

 

“Okay,” Erin nodded. Abby and Patty placed a calming hand on each of her shoulders as Dr. Gorin came around and took a willing Jillian from her embrace and the nuclear engineer shared a look with Erin that almost seemed like approval before she set the infant on the table, connecting a wired headset to the infant’s crown and gently batted away curious hands that tried to grasp at wires connecting her to the machine.

 

The three Ghostbusters watched on as Dr. Gorin muttered instructions to each of her team members who took their places connecting the machine to its power source, fiddling with controls and preparing the machine for one last shot, _Jillian’s last chance_.

 

Erin felt herself grow weak in the knees, grateful for her best friends beside her as they watched the infant sit and begin to giggle at the feeling of whatever the headband was causing her as the machine ran, a whirring noise being the only sound filtering through the lab as Dr. Gorin held Jillian as still as she could without allowing the machine to come into contact with herself or fall off the toddlers’ head.

 

The machine slowly began to wind down and Erin and the others waited on baited breath as the young Holtzmann seemed to grow a little faint herself and then promptly fell into unconsciousness as the machine finished and as one of the engineers confirmed the transmission was complete, Dr. Gorin and the others waited and when nothing immediately happened Erin couldn’t bear to see the look of disappointment on anyone’s features, so she turned away as Abby managed to choke out a heartbroken thanks to the team and Patty reached forward for the infant Holtz who remained asleep.

 

“I don’t know how or when the effects will begin to take place but – I’m truly sorry,” Dr. Gorin spoke and Erin didn’t have to look to see that she was speaking to Erin more so than the rest of the team. She could hear the heartbreak in the elder scientists’ voice. Her first tear fell and Erin took one step forward then another, until she reached her room on the third floor where she finally just let it all go.

 

Her heart was an organ and as a scientist, she understood that organs did not physically break or tear simply through emotion, but science could be damned as sobs wracked her body, she felt her heart crack open and bleed as fell back against her shut door, sliding to the ground and hoping, _begging_ that the others would understand that she just couldn’t handle being near anyone right now. She needed to grieve.

 

It was over… Holtzmann was stuck, perhaps permanently as an infant, or perhaps not, but she wasn’t there any longer, who knew what would happen with the oncoming days. Erin couldn’t bear to think of it, her heart just continued to beat, making her entire body ache with each pulse, her nerve endings shot from the month long overdue outbreak of her anxiety and panic building up like a plague.

 

She thought of the last month, flashes of the blonde in all stages of her life passed through her mind with each piece of her heart that finally stopped trying to remain whole:

 

The brazen young scientist who’d laughed manically at creating her very own ectoplasm bomb that she’d thrown like a water balloon at Kevin, who honestly had no idea what the goop was and tried to eat it.

 

The flirtatious young woman who’d begged Erin to let her take the ECTO-1 out for a joyride through the city. They didn’t.

 

The rebellious teen whom she’d caught smoking pot on the roof and tried to convince Erin to lighten up and take a hit. She’d never admit to anyone that she actually did, and had regretted it immediately when she couldn’t stop coughing while Holtzmann laughed on uncontrollably and tried to show her how to properly inhale.

 

The mood-stricken pre-teen who listened to her music far too loudly and refused to let anyone but Erin come into her room after hours of listening to David Bowie on repeat (“I’m all for Ziggy Stardust, man, but if she doesn’t cut that shit – I’ll break down her door and break that radio of hers next!” Abby snapped having barely slept the night before and was extremely grouchy from having noticed her wontons were missing). Holtzmann had been heartbroken to learn that the singer had passed away and had calmly explained to Erin that her Dad had been the one to introduce her to Bowie as a teenager, it was their thing and Erin conceded to help Holtz listen by downloading the album for her on her own iPod and showed Holtzmann how to use it. They listened to _Space Oddity_ for the next hour, well Holtzmann listened and was fascinated by Erin’s secret talent of playing the guitar and singing.

 

The grinning child who enjoyed writing out blueprints of toy guns and other useless inventions over Abby’s research notes with a yellow crayon. Abby had been less than pleased but Erin had been so in awe of the child’s genius that she’d fished out more crayons for her and gave her a spare notebook that kept her busy the rest of the night. She was excited to share each invention with Erin and explained how they worked, much like she used to explain her inventions to the team when they were finished up, with pride reflecting in her cobalt eyes.

 

Erin would cherish each and every memory she’d had with the blonde; she truly loved her, every part, every flaw, every chip and crack in the folds. _I’m so sorry, Holtz… I should have told you – I should have…_

 

Erin continued to cry until her body could no longer produce any tears. Dehydration and emotional exhaustion eventually won out and Erin, too weak to bother moving, curled up on her floor, still shaking with dry sobs that wracked her body, well into the evening hours, wishing once more that time would just stand still. 

* * *

 

“Erin!” a pounding on her door made her come to several hours later. It was dark in her room, streetlights her only way of figuring out where she was, still laid out on the floor of her room at the Firehouse. “Erin, wake up!” Abby’s voice sounded panicked through her door and Erin, still groggy managed to sit up enough to reach her door knob.

 

The door swung open and Abby nearly plowed Erin over in her attempts to get in, eyes wide, hair down and looking as if she’d been pulling at it frantically.

 

“Whoa! _Erin!_ What’re you doing on the floor!?” Abby shook her head. “Never mind that, Holtzmann is missing!”

 

Erin couldn’t find the strength to do anything more than blink up wearily at Abby.

 

“Erin? Hello, did you hear what I said?” Abby pulled Erin up off of the floor but Erin just sagged down again like a rag doll.

 

“She’s gone…” Erin found her voice, but it sounded hollow, robotic and Abby looked even more scared, if that were possible, for her friend.

 

“I don’t know how or what… Patty and I had put her down a few hours ago after Gorin’s team went to sleep and Dr. Gorin wanted to go and see her – we went into her room and she was just _gone_.”

 

Erin wasn’t sure if she could take much more, her brain began to whir in small stages of panic, but her body didn’t budge. She was just tired, so, _so_ tired. Abby stared at her, impatiently and as if she were possessed.

 

“Erin, c’mon, we need your help! Could you act a little bit more empathetic here?!” somewhere deep in Erin finally snapped at this and blue eyes hardened, glaring up at Abby – _if looks could kill_. Abby knew immediately that she’d said the wrong thing but there was nothing she could do to take it back now.

 

“No,” Erin growled. “Don’t you _dare_ insinuate that _I don’t care_ … I have spent the last _month_ watching our friend slowly wither away! I was there for her _through every moment_ – I handled her outbursts, her quirks, her _pranks_ and her moods! I made sure that she stayed out of as much danger as possible! So I suggest that you and Patty stop acting like I have absolutely _no_ feelings about this!”

 

“Erin…” Abby rightfully looked dejected, guilty.

 

“No! You don’t get to say anything! Just **_no_** , I’m done!” Erin felt herself stand and Abby took a step back, fearful. Tears were streaming down Erin’s face but she didn’t bother brushing them away.

 

“This place was my chance at a new start, a new life, after my last one got so thoroughly screwed up _thank you very much_ for that by the way,” Abby shuffled dejectedly. “I love Holtzmann, probably more than I ever thought I _could_ love another human being and you have _no_ _right_ to tell me that I need to _care more_ about our friend when I’ve done **everything** in my power to not let my heart break a little more each time she’d wake up and look at me like I was a stranger! Do you know what it’s like to see the person you love look at you like that?!” Erin’s voice could have rattled the walls if she got any louder, anger surged through her veins and she didn’t care that she sounded irrational, she was broken: mind, body and spirit.

 

“Abby! Erin! I know you two are having this little pow-wow right now, but I found her!” Patty came busting into the room, her face lit up in pure joy. Abby’s eyes darted to their other friend, grateful for the interruption, still shell-shocked from Erin’s outburst.

 

“Where is she?” Erin felt herself deflate. She knew she should apologize to Abby, but right now she just did not have the power in her to do so as her focus shifted to figuring out why Patty was bouncing on the balls of her feet like –

 

“On the roof,” Patty said matter-of-factly. Abby’s eyes bugged out and Erin felt her heart stop and then stutter back to life like an engine that had been out of commission.

 

“ _What_?” Abby screeched, but Erin was already flying past the other two women, making her way toward the roof, two – no _three_ steps at a time, her legs burning with the effort as her vision tunneled and Holtzmann’s smile flashing in her mind with every beat of her heart.

 

The door to the roof flew open and she felt her breathing constrict at the sight before her: a tearful Dr. Rebecca Gorin embracing a very solid, very _grown_ Jillian Holtzmann.

 

Holtzmann was wrapped in a scratchy wool blanket, hair a little less wild than it had been in previous days from her youth, but falling in waves down her shoulders as she clutched the blanket around them with one hand and patted Dr. Gorin’s back with the other.

 

Abby and Patty stumbled out behind Erin and Abby flew past her, throwing herself at Holtz with an excited yell and Holtzmann laughed, deep and full and rich, a sound that Erin hadn’t realized she’d missed until she heard it reach her ears as Abby clung to Holtz’ side. Patty threw a steady arm around Erin’s shoulders, startling the stunned physicist and moved them both forward, tears streaming happily down her face as she let Erin go to embrace their friend.

 

“ _Damn_ it’s good to see you, Holtzy!” Patty sniffled.

 

“Aw, don’t cry, Patty-cake!” Holtz chuckled as Patty pressed a sloppy, wet kiss to Holtzmann’s cheek.

 

Blue eyes crinkled open and locked with Erin’s, her smirk fell into a genuine smile that caused Erin’s eyes to sting again and she couldn’t stop the sob that escaped her throat as she flew into Holtzmann’s arms, who reached out for her, careful not to knock the blanket away and held her close.

 

“It’s really you,” Erin choked out, tears dampening the soft skin beneath her, burying her nose into the crease where Holtzmann’s neck met her shoulder, breathing in the warm, spicy scent that always seemed to encompass the scientist. Strong arms encircled Erin and held her back, just as tight and Abby, Patty and even Dr. Gorin who muttered something about hating being touched, joined in on hugging their munitions expert and the group just stood there in the cool New York night.

 

“Not that I’m not incredibly delighted to see all of you, but – I’d _really_ like to figure out why I’m not wearing any clothes…” Patty was the first to lose it, laughter filling the night air around them and Abby shook her head with a watery smile, directing the puzzled Holtzmann from the roof downstairs as they began explaining to Holtz what had happened.

 

“Does she…not remember?” Erin asked, bewildered. Following Dr. Gorin and the other ladies off of the roof.

 

“It appears her memory is a little _distorted_ … I might stick around a few more days to take notes – just for science, of course,” Erin nodded numbly, still worried about how much the machine may have affected her friend’s memory.

* * *

It had been one Hell of a month, the Ghostbusters were still taking calls, but for the most part, the team mostly ignored anything below a T-4 and focused on Holtzmann getting back up to speed. Around a week or so after it seemed that Holtzmann was back to her old self, messing around her lab and laughing about fart jokes with Abby, Dr. Gorin bid the team adieu and made Holtzmann promise to call her more often.

 

“I expect you to call me if anything changes,” Dr. Gorin spoke with Erin who guided her out of the Firehouse. Erin glanced back at Holtzmann who was currently climbing on Patty’s back like a koala who didn’t look like she minded one bit as Holtz muttered something and had Patty pulling a spit-take with her iced tea, Abby cackling at the two of them.

 

“I will,” Erin agreed. “Thank you for everything.”

 

Erin met Dr. Gorin’s gaze and noticed for the first time that it no longer held any sternness, but was soft, much like how she would look at Holtzmann.

 

“She really cares about you, you know,” Dr. Gorin sighed. “I hope you know that if you break her heart – I’ll be forced to make your death look like an accident.”

 

Erin’s jaw did hit the floor this time, but she had no time to retaliate as Dr. Gorin took one last look over at Holtzmann before smiling and leaving the Firehouse with an uncharacteristic wink to Erin.

 

Later that evening over a celebratory dinner of – you guessed it, _Chinese_ – Erin noticed that Holtzmann was a bit quieter than she’d been since returning to them. Having had her fill of stories of her younger self terrorizing the team and poor Kevin, she sat back and simply observed the team as they ate and joked.

 

Erin excused herself from the table when she finished her plate and took it to the sink. As she turned, she nearly jumped out of her skin when she noticed Holtz had followed behind her, closer than was probably appropriate but then again, Holtzmann had never had a clear concept of personal space and after the past month, Erin found she didn’t mind it as much as she first did when the two met.

 

“Holtz-?” a soft, calloused hand made its way into Erin’s and blue eyes twinkled softly behind yellow-lenses.

 

“Come with me…” she requested and Erin followed willingly, not noticing Abby’s confused stare or Patty shaking her head with a fond grin and muttering “ _’bout damn time_ ” under her breath.

 

“What’s going on, Holtzmann? Is everything all right?” Erin asked as they made their way onto the roof, Holtzmann had yet to release her hand and if she noticed the way Erin’s palm had begun to sweat, she said nothing.

 

Holtzmann swung their joined hands between their bodies. “Dance with me?”

 

Erin’s brain short-circuited at the request.

 

“There’s no music,” Erin finally found her voice but Holtzmann only smiled, pulling Erin close and placing her other hand on her waist, Erin’s breath caught and she found her own free hand coming up and resting on Holtzmann’s shoulder. Holtz began leading them around, slow at first so Erin could keep up and soon both were swaying to the rhythm of their hearts.

 

Holtzmann began humming under her breath and as Erin caught on and listened, she could recall the faint strains of _What a Wonderful World_ and Erin melted into Holtz, resting her cheek on the younger woman’s shoulder, repositioning her arm to come around Holtz’ shoulder and back.

 

“I’ve missed you,” Erin whispered as her eyes closed and a smile graced her lips as she swayed in Holtz’ arms under the twinkling lights of the city coming to life around them.

 

“We’ll always have Paris,” Holtz whispered back and Erin couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her at this famous line. Another beat and Holtz turned them again.

 

“My parents passed away when I was fifteen, it was a freak car accident – they didn’t feel any pain,” Holtz spoke and Erin felt herself stiffen at the omission from the younger woman, but Holtzmann didn’t stop leading her in their dance, so she swayed sensing that Holtz wasn’t finished.

 

Holtzmann released their embrace, humming under her breath and pulled her back in, causing Erin to twirl and then dip. Erin let out a tiny squeal at the quick motion but trusted Holtzmann not to drop her.

 

“My first kiss wasn’t until I was 19, she was a junior and a philosophy major…” Erin felt herself blush, imagining the younger Holtz that she’d only briefly gotten to know while she was de-aging and wondered why Holtzmann was sharing these tidbits of her life. With her of all people.

 

“My favorite color is yellow, but somehow I think you know that-” Erin nodded, sharing a matching smile with Holtz as their dancing around the rooftop began to slow, Erin didn’t even mind that Holtz had stopped humming.

 

“I used to take my dad’s radios apart and put them back together when I was young, it drove him bonkers when they wouldn’t work right and he never suspected a thing until he caught me elbows deep in circuits one day when I was ten,” Erin snorted, recalling a younger Holtz who had taken apart Patty’s cellphone and that had been the last straw for the historian, who’d immediately left the Firehouse and didn’t return until much later, having needed a long walk to calm down.

 

“I love the smell of the perfume you wear, and the sound of your laugh when I’m the one who causes it,” Erin finally stopped dancing at this information. Holtz simply stared back at her.

 

“The way that you smile when I crack a joke and pretend to hide it behind your hand or a book – the way that you wait until everyone goes to bed to re-watch _You’ve Got Mail_ for the five-hundredth time in a row so nobody can see you cry when they inevitably get together in the end. The way your hand feels in mine – I love all of it, Erin. I should have told you much sooner and I just…” she released Erin and ran a shaky hand through her tuft of blonde curls.

 

Her eyes swept over Erin’s figure and Erin could feel herself tremble with the amount of emotion that passed over them like an electric current.

 

“I’ve lived my life twice over and in both scenarios I completely forgot the most important person in my life, but I don’t need Patty to tell me that even younger me knew you were that person… there for me – _with_ me through it all… And I don’t want to spend another moment where you don’t know just how important you are to me,” Holtzmann’s voice never wavered as she took one step, then another until she was standing right in front of Erin.

 

“I’m crazy in love with you, Erin,” Holtz shook under the scrutinizing gaze of Erin, who’s brain finally caught back up with her thundering heart. She shook her head and Holtz’ demeanor fell, but before she could step away Erin grabbed Holtz by the collar of her overalls and yanked her into a hungry kiss.

 

Holtzmann tasted faintly of teriyaki beef and Pepsi and Erin was consumed with the scent of Earth before a rainstorm and burnt metal and something uniquely Holtzmann as she felt the engineers’ strong arms wrap around her waist, pulling her closer and she felt her knees grow weak as Holtzmann deepened the kiss.

 

Erin broke the kiss, breathless as tears blurred her vision of the blonde whose forehead pressed to hers gently and smiled brightly at Holtzmann. Holtz brought her hand up to cradle the redheads’ cheek, wiping away one errant tear after the next.

 

“Don’t cry,” Holtz whispered. “ _Shopgirl_ , don’t cry,” Erin let out a watery laugh and shook her head.

 

“You’re relentless with movie quotes, aren’t you?” Erin chuckled, feeling another tear fall. Holtz caught it with a winning smile.

 

“What can I say, I’m ridiculously in love and that gives me the right to be cheesy,” Erin’s breath caught once more at hearing the _L_ word and her eyes searched Holtzmann’s for what, even she wasn’t certain.

 

“I love you, Holtzmann,” Erin breathed, eyes darting to Holtz’ swollen pink lips and then back to her bright eyes. “I love you _so_ much.” Holtz looked like she had won the lottery at life as she pressed her lips to Erin’s again in a soft peck, that soon became another and then another before they both couldn’t kiss any longer because their smiles were just too big.

 

Erin took a moment to thank her lucky stars as she and Holtz stood and gently swayed under the night sky, holding one another close and for once, no longer wanted time to stand still, she just wanted to move forward, knowing that with the blonde by her side, there was no need to worry about the future any longer.

-FIN-

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews feed this Bard's soul. Please let me know what you're excited about finding in this story!! :] More to be posted soon!
> 
> Are you a slut for Holtzbert like me? Come find/yell/fanperson with me on twitter/tumblr @ljthebard! :3


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